Philosophy of Culture

June 18, 2009


When one is finally alone, one is whole. It is hard to believe. I still yearn for the need to have contact. Hoping, needing, loving, pretending, helping, arguing, wanting, hating, attaching, escaping, laughing, crying… I feel alone. All of these emotions, situations and actions are a farse. The attachment is so great to be accepted, appreciated, understood, loved, cared, and listened to. Sometimes too great. Sacrifices of my own individuality are made as a bet. A bet that there will be a better deal tomorrow. The only thing is that the bet is with myself. For years and years I put forth many bets. Now I think that it was an empty attempt. People still move on to their own ideas, thoughts and actions. Their lives evolve, transcend into something greater. When Gosha fell flat on his face, he got up and did what no one thought he would, he went with his own intuitions. It is something that I only begin to understand. So many years have passed. How many more are needed in order to understand the next point in life? How many years are needed to fix what was broken and start something that has not been acknowledged for so many years?

The only thing that I know for sure is that it is with my own self that I pick a battle. The others never really exist. One fact remains: “I think therefore I exist.”

So many games we play, and for what? I feel that the more we play, the more we dilute the reality of what everything is. I am exhausted. So exhausted. I thought I could put up with everything for a long time. But now I want to rest. To sleep a silent sleep. No more thoughts and assumptions. No more judgements. No more worrying. No more pretending. No more _________ No more___________No more___________I say.

Sleep, so sweet, so lovely, so true, so pure awaits me as I become one, only me, myself, alone.

August 17, 2007


Filed under: Diary Entries @ 7:51 pm and

I am choking on air polluted with inconsistent beings as I become inconsistent in order to conform to identity. Choking without realizing that I am. Thinking that it might be allergy or stress and rationalizing that it will pass. It will pass if you let it be.

Choking on different inputs of information that stir up the awareness of inconsistency. Information is processed, analyzed and is constantly turned on, like a machine making infinite rounds without a result. It is like typing words composed of symbols, containing no meaning but is something that needs to be done. It is essential to be done. Reason? None. It just must be. Conform and I will be saved. Not by Jesus though. He is long time dead. It is as if there is a rule. An algorithm that structures everything to be in order. At times it makes me believe that it will give freedom. Like a sugar cube to sweeten the tea. I don’t drink tea with sugar though. Is not it strange?

Choking on words. Words pronounced with integrity, respect and truthfulness. Yet those who pronounce them don’t even understand if they are true. Usually they are not. At least that is what I learned this year.

Choking because the energy spent on believing and hoping is wasted on beings who waste others’ hopes and beliefs.

Choking because I am wasted. No longer a functioning machine. I no longer believe or hope.

Choking because no longer believing or hoping brings forth reality as it is.

Choking because I lost the necessity to believe or hope in those whom I used to believe and hope in.

Realizing what is truly there is interesting and at the same time horrifying.

May 18, 2007


The elements are broken
Yet are binded with unknown entity.
They encompass all that passes and
Yet are still.
The drive, like a constant penetration
Engulfs everything within and
Yet outward as well.
The beat, vibration spring with bright light to sparkle upon the thin lined notes.
All is connected.
All is existent and
Yet is not in its true form.
One must seek that which is invincible.

-Anna B

March 12, 2007

Robots, the new way of the future?

Check this link. Maybe we are going to reach another race…of robots!!! Will our world become similar to the one in BladeRunner?

March 2, 2007

Make a Difference…

Filed under: Philosophy @ 9:38 pm and

It may not affect us now, but in the future it will affect many.

Go to:
-Peace, Anna

February 27, 2007

Round Round we go!

Filed under: Philosophy @ 2:27 pm and

There comes a point in life where everything is changing so quickly around that it becomes almost nauseating. Imagine yourself turning, as many of you probably done as children. The space needs to be large enough so that it is possible. It is also good to have hard wood floors that creak upon the tinny steps in a circle. Everything around twists and turns as you turn. You stop. A nauseating feeling comes across that sends everything spinning to a blur of images.

At some points in life, it is like this blur. You think that everything changes around you, but at the same time nothing does. It is your own perception that keeps everything in a confused, fiasco state. Everything is normal and yet everything is confusing. People that you know are not people that you know. In a way you think it is the people around you that changed and yet there are certain instances that prove you wrong. It is you who has changed with a perception more distinct than ever before.  You are the person in the midst of it all. The way something is perceived is the way everything will be.

January 15, 2007

The Change

There is such a thing as change. It occurs to all of us, whether it is physical, psychological etc. The most important thing to understand is how everything is interconnected. Everything leads towards a particular path. It is vague, unclear and confusing at times to know which way to go. One even tries to restrict oneself from that becoming, from that path, only to find that the restriction is false and is limiting, bringing forth unhappiness. Happiness is what all of us want to gain. However, at times there are people that forget what they strive for and settle for the safe ground. The safe ground is the point of settlement, where one rests and forgets why and what he/she is set to do. It is this limbo point, like being in a womb, where it is comfortable to dream and sleep. One may be in that state of womb for a long time, even till death comes knocking on the door. It happens to a LOT of people. There are only a very few that go on. Like the sperm reaching the egg is a rare occasion, so is attainment of happiness and certain goals in life.

I only wish that more people start waking up from this conscious sleep, where masking oneself is the only way felt as a way of survival.


December 11, 2006

Filed under: Philosophy @ 11:40 pm and

Soon there will be snow. The calm feeling always appears at this time. For some snow may seem to be a cold, fierse burst of wind and collection of frozen water out onto the streets and into people’s eyes. For me, snow is a blanket. It reminds me of ‘bardi,’ Russian guitar music played in the warmth of people, food and alcoholic beverages. It is a time celebrated without any religious ties or preferences. It is not atheistic, but simple. Simple to a point where definition of yourself in regards to society is irrelevant. The outside world never and will not exist if one stays for that moment of enjoyment. I love snow…Its fresh scent in the morning on the 24th of December. Its acknowledgement of fulfilling a gorgeous act by being in everyones’ face and worries of getting out later in the day, or the next day.

To everyone, may you have a wonderful new year. Stay warm.

October 12, 2006

The World Around Us…

Bird.jpgWhen living in NYC, there is a 110% chance that when using public transportation or walking a several blocks, it is possible to hear a person(s) speak or see a poster about some sort of change about to happen. Once, I experienced a moment where a “messanger” of G-d was accusing a woman of not serving the Lord. She replied “How do you know?” She seemed to be upset about being wrongfully accused. Upon walking into Star-for-bucks, a man approached me by explaining that Bush caused 911. He planted the bombs, well used people who did. It seemed important for him to express theseprisoner.jpg thoughts and he gave me a ticket to register to vote. That was interesting…’blame the president, but don’t forget to vote!’ With all this going on, it just raises questions. The feeling of something about to happen is there. I don’t know if any NYorker or any other state person feels it, but ‘do we have answers, or is something just out there to cover up the truth?’

What is going on with the world?!? Is something ready to brew and burst into chaos? Are we really a finished race? Will there ever be peace?Jesus.jpg

October 2, 2006

Baraka and our world.

baraka6.jpgThe title Baraka is an Arabic word literally meaning blessing. There is a moviebaraka7.jpg Baraka done in 1992, where it depicts different cultures, religions and beliefs. In the movie there is no conversation, intead there is music that is perfectly matched to the film. It is impossible to describe what is in the film. Only your own experience gives the final definition.

Click on link below to see the movie for free:

Click here to read more about movie Baraka (more…)

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